Flying Above the Ground Drama
For a variety of reasons, I decided to visit my family in the Vancouver area in October. That said, the next few posts are going to be focused out west, on some of the wonderful sights and experiences I had while visiting British Columbia and my family, who I love immensely but who also drive me nuts (I’m sure that statement is echoed by everyone ever). Besides, it seems timely with Thanksgiving approaching here in the United States.
October 9th was the day I chose to fly out. Because my husband is basically the most amazing person ever, he got up at 3:30am with me to drive me to the airport in Pittsburgh to make sure I was there on time for my 7:00am flight. By 7:00am, the airport in Pittsburgh is getting pretty busy but I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve to make things a bit easier in Pittsburgh. The most important trick is going to the alternative security checkpoint if the queue for the main check point is longer than the area that is roped off. This decision rarely backfires.
Naturally, after subjecting my husband to such torture, my flight out of Pittsburgh is delayed. Indeed, it is eventually delayed so much that it appears that my layover in San Francisco will be a staggering seven minutes. And while I packed excellent hiking shoes, I was not wearing appropriate footwear for running between terminals.
I had chosen my seats ahead of time to guarantee aisle seats all the way. I knew that on a six hour flight there’d be multiple trips to the bathroom. Of course, as I board there is a rail thin teenager in my seat who wants to bargain with me so I can take a middle seat somewhere else in the plane. I felt bad for her luck, but I’m a larger person with a small bladder.
I settle into my seat and try to get some sleep but the behavior of the passenger next to me kept waking me up. Perhaps the most bizarre behavior was smoking her e-cigarette. I had not really seen an e-cigarette so up-close before so at first, when she was assembling it, I was getting concerned about what on earth this woman was assembling. She was about 10 seconds away from me hailing a flight attendant for suspicious behavior when she put it in her mouth and began smoking. I’m not sure what the rules are on plans with e-cigs so I let it go. I was exhausted.
When we arrive in San Francisco, I turn my phone on while we’re still on the tarmac to discover that I had been re-booked onto a later flight that was not only two hours later, but was then delayed by three more hours. I was a little frustrated to suddenly have a five hour layover in San Francisco. But when I got off the plane, I found my original flight to Vancouver had also been delayed. It was still in San Francisco and I had more than seven minutes to make the connection. I had about 10 minutes. It didn’t change the fact the slip-on shoes I was wearing were simply not made for the event. I sprinted anyway. I dreamed I was a ferret covered in vegetable oil on a Red Bull high.
The gate I was at was a cluster. They were trying to get two flights out at the same time out of the same gate. What on earth? It was chaotic. I just wanted to make sure I had a seat on this plane. However, it seemed like a lot of people had substantially more serious problems than I did. For example, the individuals ahead of me had their ticket canceled. They were beginning to board the Vancouver flight when I finally talked to a gate agent who confirmed, I did have a seat on this flight. That, in fact, in that moment I was reserved on two flights. This is one of those magical times that even though everything was going wrong, United Airlines made a very positive impression because they had me covered in duplicate.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I boarded the plane. The flight to Vancouver was short and sweet compared to the first flight. Indeed, it felt like the walk to Canada Customs at the Vancouver airport took longer than the flight (thankfully, it is at least a pretty walk—just very difficult when you really, really need a rest room). One cool thing here is that if you have a Canadian passport you can go through the “electronic border.”
The electronic border is a kiosk where you can put in your customs declaration form and answer a few questions and, in most cases, it’ll print out a confirmation to hand to a single officer on your way out of the queue and you’ve just welcomed yourself to Canada. I thought it was really neat. It saved me some time.
This point in time was also the peak of Ebola cases in the United States. Prior to leaving the international arrivals area that is controlled by customs, I was asked a few brief questions to ensure I had not recently been in one of the areas recently afflicted by Ebola.
After over 14 hours of being indoors or on planes, it was heavenly to walk out in the drizzly dampness of the Pacific Northwest. Dad promptly took me for a poutine burger and we visited my grandmother (who turned 96 on November 12!).
Good grief, I hate air travel.